Anthony Robbins says that "the quality of your life is determined by the quality of your communication", and whilst this might be overstating the case a little bit it certainly suggests just how important communication is for your life and for your health. ‘But how can communication affect my health?' I hear you ask. Well, it's all about stress. In particular, the unnecessary stress that goes hand-in-hand with poor communication.
How many times have you been having a huge argument with someone, or experiencing trouble sealing a deal at work, or find yourself in trouble with your better half - and when it all comes down to it you realise that you were really arguing about nothing. In fact either you both actually agreed, or there was in fact a readily agreeable compromise that was easy to find once you both started opening your ears rather than your mouths. And really, at the end of the day, that sentence holds the key.
Asking great questions and listening really is the key to great communication. So often we think that the key to communication is being able to get our points of view across as well as we can. However that is not communicating, that is just talking. The key to communication is not about winning but being able to see the other person's point of view in order to find a mutually agreeable solution moving forward. This enables you to create effective long-term partnerships with people and sets up mutually beneficial relationships that not only mean less stress now but also less stress in the future. So next time you are in a conversation that is not going so well, try asking ‘What can I do here to help us create a solution to this problem?'
And don't forget that it is not just about the communication between yourself and others - the way you communicate with yourself may be even more important. Lots of people talk to themselves in a way that they would never allow others to do. Lies, put-downs, fear mongering and focusing on problems rather than solutions can form part of this internal communication all too often. So when it comes to self-talk (and we all do it), try to use the same rules. Try to figure out what it is that you really want and focus on finding solutions that will help get you there. This self-talk affects our health in so many ways. So often it stop us from finding emotional peace and happiness, it stops us from taking action on our health and it allows us to eat, think and move in ways that are just not healthy.
The good news is that the more you consciously create this positive self-talk, the more the negative will fade away.
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